Stories from Sadness

Yesterday I attended a funeral for a woman I knew well but had never met.  Her daughter was a former Client and I had done much research on the deceased's grandmother.  I've never attended a Client's family member's funeral before and it was an interesting experience.  The Minister spoke about the importance of connections and he was so right in ways he didn't even know!

I should have thought of this years ago but somehow this escaped me until now.  In grief, a lot of memories are evoked that can explain or provide hints to better understanding of the individual and their place in the family.  During the Reflection phase of the memorial service, I was struck by a piece of info that the Client had never previously shared with me regarding the family residence years ago.  Since this was between census years in a rental in a place that didn't have a City Directory, I would have been hard pressed to find where they were living and why.  It had been a troubling time, based on what I heard yesterday, and that would explain why the Client never shared it while I was working on the lines, however, it readily connected the family to another family 2 generations previously that I knew was living on that same block. 

Many of the reflections confirmed other stories I had heard; that the deceased had an uncanny ability to know everyone's date of birth and address for this large extended family.  I readily agree.  When I was in the early stages of the research, I met to share some of the findings and the Client was certain I had made an error.  After checking with the very knowledgeable family member, my data was confirmed. 

Her passing yesterday is a loss to the family in many ways; from a genealogical perspective, the stories she did not pass on might never be learned.  One of the grandchildren recorded the service thus preserving the recollections of some of the family members. 

Although emotions are raw during a funeral, important genealogical information is decimated. If you are distraught, your spouse or friend might be helpful at this time to unemotionally record the information that can assist you later.  I plan on meeting with the Client for lunch in the next few months to share the information that I learned.  I think she'll appreciate it and gain a better understanding of the past.