Heirlooms and Hand Me Downs – Who Cares?!

I read recently an online article about the glazed over look that family members often get when we genealogists start talking about the past.  The author mentioned that he was frustrated that his family doesn’t seem to care while the actors featured on tv shows are always so excited about their genealogy finds. 

I understand why our family members often don’t get it.  Here’s my top 5 reasons for the disconnect and a way to get around it:

1,  The past is done and it’s not relevant to me.  Geez, I even had that philosophy when I was young.  Think about the 1960’s mantra of not trusting anyone over 30!  It’s rare that young people can connect the dots of how several times great grandpa’s life could be meaningful today.  It's not just young folks.  Some people never out grow this belief so don’t get me wrong and think this view only applies to youth.  The solution is simple – tell or write engaging family stories that are applicable to life today. Write the story as a cliffhanger and I bet your relatives will want to learn more about their past.

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     2.  Concrete tactile learners – there are many learners that have to SEE the picture, TOUCH the artifact, or LISTEN to the voice in order to process the information so show that photo taken at the 1920 family reunion and point out the resemblance to Great Uncle Fred.  Caution is needed, though.  Don't overload them with a lot of photos or items as they'll disconnect from sensory overload. A little goes a long way and what you're aiming for is to pique interest.

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          3. Money, Money, Money!  Of course the television actors are excited about their family history finds.  Your relatives would be, too, if they were being paid for appearing on tv.  This is not a suggestion to pay our family members to listen to us but it does explain why there may be a lack of enthusiasm.  D. Joshua Taylor, of Ancestry Roadshow, mentioned at the National Genealogical Society Conference that his grandma updated the family history annually and every one expected to receive a copy gift wrapped under the Christmas tree each year.  That tradition, coupled with the $20. bills she hid in the pages, did help family members look forward to the gift. (And he's interested in the family genealogy so clearly this approach worked.  Thank you, Josh's Grandma!)  

·        4. Individual Attention.  Another reason tv actors are enthusiastic is because they are exclusively meeting one on one with noted researchers who sweetly answer their every question and have the documents all nicely transcribed for them.  I tend to talk family genealogy when everyone is together and that may be counter intuitive.  Instead, mention some tidbit that can easily blend in with the conversation when you are with only one of your family members.  A few weeks ago, while cleaning out a closet, I wondered what happened to a collection of needles I once had - darning, knitting, embroidery, tapestry, etc. that originally belonged to various females in my lines.  When I was into arts and crafts, I used them and always thought about the original owners.  Daughter said, "Oh, I have those." She brought them over on Mother's Day and I pulled out a few and said, "I remember when your great grandma used these to embroider a kitchen towel" and "Grandma Duck used to use these when she repaired the hallway stairs carpet, the one I told you about that I used to slide down on my derriere when I was five."  Will daughter remember and cherish?  I don't know but I gave it my best shot!  She is quite artistic so I suspect she will make the connection and remember it. 

·       5. Road trip needed!  When you think of "Who Do You Think You Are?" or "Long Lost Family" you know the participants get to travel.  Most family members would just love it if they got to go somewhere, all expenses paid.  I always sneak in a side trip whenever we used to vacation and my family still talks about the house on Long Island that several times great grandpa John Hicks Williams had built that just happened to be for sale so we got to see the inside (online - couldn't find an agent who was available to give us a tour). Walking in your ancestor's foot steps is a powerful experience and with summer coming, perhaps you can take the most interested of the family on an excursion.

     Hope these suggestions help get your family interested in your findings - Happy Hunting!